I just turned in my resignation letter to my boss giving them notice that in 4 weeks I'll be gone. I've been here a year and a half and it's just time to move on. My wonderful girlfriend just got her dream job on Chincoteague Island, Virginia and if that's where she is, then that's where I want to be. Things always work out in the end, or at least they have lately. Things have been so insanely uncertain lately that I'm barely sleeping, can't focus on making things, and just shuffle around doing nothing when I'm home.All kinds of questions I couldn't possibly answer racing through my mind all night long- things I have absolutely no control over.
This move couldn't come at a better time- proven even more when I told them I was quitting they were relieved to finally tell me my position wasn't being renewed. The permanent position (meaning tuition remission, benefits, days off, salary etc) I'd been waiting for, working my butt off for just disappeared. Had I not been quitting who knows when they would have told me? I would've had to be a contractor for another year before it was even available, and this was after I was 'guaranteed' I would be going permanent. It's not the fault of my managers, or any one person in particular, really. It just goes to show how much worrying changes things - exactly none.
So with the burden of that removed, I'll be finishing the last 4 weeks of work here and preparing to move on to the next thing. That next thing is working part-time on the island (bike distance!) and doing everything I can to make myself an independent artist. I'll be drawing, painting, writing, designing, and posting right here to my hearts content - doing honest work to make ends meet until I can support myself with what I make. Is is a sure bet- absolutely not, but neither is waking up everyday.
I'm finding myself to be very lucky to be in this position, and to have one way or another, made the right call. I can't wait to see what's ahead, even with no way of knowing what that might be. Like Tom Petty said: "under my feet baby, grass is growing, it's time to move on, time to get going"
In the coming months I want to do more. I want to share more of my process. I want to connect with other artists and learn about their processes. I want to be out in nature more. I want to bike to work.
You might think this is all really stupid, and it very well may be. It may blow up in my face. But I can't allow myself to be afraid to fail. The door has opened, and I'm going through it.
Here are some sketches from what I've been working on lately. I haven't had much time or focus for finished work, but I've had this concept of this young priestess in my head for some time that I wanted out. She's an adventurer, explorer, and does nature magic. It's a silly idea, but might turn into something eventually.